It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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