areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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