Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
