I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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