i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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