I love black thongs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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