god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
