the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
