True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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