The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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