Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
