goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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