jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize