Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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