hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
