im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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