I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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