Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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