1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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