It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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