i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
