school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
