How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
