So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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