I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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