HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
