dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
