i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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