im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
