I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
