so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
