I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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