Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
how drunk are you?
Several
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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