and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
