You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
