get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
