i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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