he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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