I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
