imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I would fuck him just for his dog
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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