We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
