now i know why i became what i already was.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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