all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
