It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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