is your mom at the bar?
Kiss
Puke
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
