And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
