Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
