When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
accomplished twins. life is a go
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
