I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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