Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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