Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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