Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
