I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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