oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Four minutes until I can fart!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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