on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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