You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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