where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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