All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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