how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
