Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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