You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
