Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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