I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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